The Flag on My Front Porch

(Author’s Note: I first wrote this piece on September 11th, 2020. And it resonated loudly with many at that time. And so, I retell this story every year, because it is a powerful one.)

I love the quiet of the early mornings. One of my favorite things to do is wake up early, pour a cup of hot coffee, sit in a rocking chair on our front porch and just listen to the silence. I start my day that way as often as possible. It centers me. And it is even more powerful on important days and anniversaries like today.

And so few minutes ago, I poured my coffee, and headed to the porch. As I was opening my front door, I was surprised to see two people on my front steps, practically standing on our porch, looking closely and intently at the flag that is hanging in front of our house. Our neighbors and friends know that we always have a flag hanging. Usually it is a standard issue American flag. But we have other special flags that are flown from time to time, as well. In early September every year, we fly a flag that honors the memory of of those who died on September 11, 2001. And if you look closely at the picture of this flag above (rotated 90 degrees so that it is easier to read), you will notice that the red and blue stripes are formed from names… every name of the people who died in New York, Washington and Pennsylvania on that awful day. What a terrible day that was, for so many people. Each year, this is our family’s way of honoring and remembering them.

So I opened my door and said “can I help you?” to the couple on my steps. I startled them. They began quickly backpedaling towards the street, almost tripping down the front steps in the process. I had clearly startled them out of deep thought, and I could see immediately that they were crying. Eventually they were able to get out the words to explain to me that they had heard about our flag from a friend. They had come by our house this morning, on September 11th, to see the flag… and to look for the name of their grandson.

They were very emotional. And immediately so was I. Realizing the private moment that had been interrupted, I desperately tried to gain my composure, and told them they were welcome to stay as long as they wanted. I gently closed the door, and left them to their moment of early morning silence, with our flag and their memories of their grandson. I didn’t ask any other questions. I didn’t even ask their names. The most important thing was that they have their moment, and I was happy to lend them my front porch for as long as they needed.

This blog is about communication and leadership… on most days. But every once in a while, I like to share simple stories that demonstrate humanity, and that might make you think a little bit. I had an incredibly powerful moment of vulnerability on my front porch this morning, with an older couple who came to my house on the morning of September 11th, to look at my family’s flag, and find the name of their grandson. There is no real business lesson here. But this story reminds me to never forget, amidst the grind of our busy lives, that things can change in an instant. Like it did for this couple, and their extended family.

May the victims of September 11th, including this couple’s grandson, rest in peace. May we never forget them.

Never forget.