Speak So They Love to Listen. Listen So They Love to Speak.

There’s a line I come back to often: “Speak in a way that others love to listen to you. Listen in a way that others love to speak to you.”

It’s two short sentences, but it’s a powerful philosophy for how you communicate and show up for others.

And yet, most people I interact with only practice half of this philosophy… some practice neither.

Let’s start with how you speak. Think about the people you love listening to. They’re usually clear. They get to the point. They respect your time, and they make you feel like what they’re saying matters to YOU, not just to THEM. And they don’t talk at you, they speak with you. That’s a big difference. And it’s a skill that can be learned and practiced

Now let’s flip to how you listen... for many of us this is the harder half. Think about the people you love talking to. They put the phone down. They ask a second question instead of jumping in to make their point. And they make you feel like your thoughts are valuable and worth listening to. You walk away from those conversations feeling heard, seen, connected.

Here’s what I’ve noticed over the years: people rarely remember exactly what you said. But they remember how it felt to speak with you. And that feeling shapes all sorts of things: who they bring their best ideas to, who they are patient with, who they trust, and who they want on their team.

That’s competitive advantage. A leader or colleague who does both of these things well adds real value to everyone around them. People bring them problems earlier. They share ideas sooner. And they stay longer. No competitor can copy that because it isn’t a process. It’s a habit, practiced one conversation at a time.

So which half do you need to work on this week? Speaking, or listening? Perhaps a little of both?

Good luck and have a great day.