At The Latimer Group, we care deeply about what you say. We coach it every day. Clear message, strong structure, a point worth making.
But here’s something I’ve noticed over the years. When people choose to prep, almost everyone preps the same way. They spend their time on what they want to say. The message. The key points. The ask. That’s certainly time well spent.
But it’s also only part of the equation.
And almost no one spends time on what they don’t want to say. Or should not say. This matters, because that’s where the real art is.
Every conversation has a few rabbit holes. The topic that will only lead to a bad place. The side issue that will hijack the meeting. The thing you’re simply not ready to discuss yet. The comment that might offend, or be taken the wrong way, even when you didn’t mean it that way.
If you’ve thought about those ahead of time, you can steer around them. If you haven’t, you’ll be making that call in real time, under pressure, with everyone watching. And that’s when the wrong thing slips out your mouth and you might lose control of the discussion.
So here’s what I’d suggest. When you prepare for an important conversation, make two lists. The first is what you want to say. The second is what you’re going to stay away from, and how you’ll respond if someone drags you there anyway. Having a graceful redirect ready, something as simple as “Let’s come back to that,” can save a conversation.
In many situations, I’d argue the second list deserves more of your time than the first. Because a great message can be undone by one careless sentence. And a disciplined speaker earns trust precisely because they’re clear about where they’re going, and where they’re not.
So before your next big conversation, ask yourself: what’s the one thing I need to make sure I don’t say?
Have a great day!
